dude, I had exactly the same problem about a year ago.
Ill give a little insight into my earlier years.
I was always the most popular guy at school, football captain for my year and 2 years above. Represented Lincolnshire for running and football, GTFC school of excellence for 9 years. Left school with good grades, started modelling, as you do I went through a drink and drug patch because of the people I was hanging with ( coke head models)
I met my other half 7 years ago, became good friends, took it to the next step, been engaged for 5 years, have a 3 year old, and a 4 week old, own house, no money owed out etc.
When Caden was 2, I really started to suffer badly due to bad past experiences from me pre teen years, crypto sparidium, or however you spell it, problem with the bowels, meaning running close to not making it a few times. This then grew onto a somewhat obsession, I would not leave the house without going to the toilet etc, making myself really quite ill through doing so, everytime I had an icky stomach, I would pop literally handfulls of imodium, just to allow me to live my life.
I was then diagnosed with having kidney stones because of the imodium problem in both kidneys. I was hospitalised for 3 weeks. Found that my partner had been speaking to one of her ex's. I kicked off. We split up. within the time of splitting up, I also lost, My Great Grandma, Great Auntie, and both grandads, all to whom i was VERY close to.
all of this lead up to me suffering a break down! I tried comitting suicide, I couldnt see the light at the end that we all hope for. I am not ashamed by any of this by the way, its whats made me into the person I am today, although I was very selfish in trying to take my own life.
worst bit about this time also, my supposed 'friends' were going behind my back slagging me off, saying ive lost the plot etc.
I was then put on many various medications, all of which I wasnt happy about taking. Diazepam, Amytriptaline, Fluoxatine, and currently on cipramil.
At this time also I had been to a mental hospital, and was assessed on two occasions, both to which I was deemed to be 'not at risk'
The docs then reffered me onto something called poesis at my doctors, basically a shrink,Low and behold, although as the same with the meds, I was hesitant, but he helped me out a great deal, gave me an audio cd to participate with, and taught me certain excercies to help me also. He also put me on a confidence course, which was basically with people at exactly the same stage of their lives, but from all age groups.
after all this commotion, me and my partner were able to sort things out, and moved back in etc, had our 2nd ( and last) child haha and I am now as happy as ever.
the moral of this is despite what people tell you about taking prescribed meds, shrinks etc, dont take notice of them, do whats right for you, if you try it and it doesnt work, at least you have tried, and there IS alternatives.
I am now 24, living with my beautiful family, Tash 25, Caden 3, Caleb 4 weeks, no mortgage, no money outstanding, new job, holidays booked. All of my past has made me into the person I am today, and despite how much you may hate people, life etc..... life is way too short.
arrrggghhh finished.... sorry to blab on