Family member stealing!

[2004rickyh]

need some advise on what to do, I'll try and keep this story short. Ok, my dad has gone away on holiday for a couple of weeks, he runs his business from his house and it's were I work too, only me, my brother, sister and for some unknown reason my young cousin (21 years old) have a house key and all know the alarm code. Anyways I'm the only one going in and out the house these last couple of weeks (no one lives there except my dad). My dad gave my cousin a key about 6 month ago so he can let himself in as he helps out now and then with the business. F*ck knows why my dad did this as I don't trust my cousin one bit and I've told my dad many of times your mad and stupid for doing this. I've always been very close to my cousin and we get on very well but I know his bad with money, spends more than he earns and always borrowing money of my loving nan and never paying her back

I get a phone call tonight from my cousin telling me he went into my dads house a couple of nights ago and took some money out my dads secret stash (how he knew where that was is beyond me) either way he found it, he said he's going to replace the money. He's begging me not to tell the old man.

I feel sick to my stomach that he would do this my dad (his uncle). We always look out for him, always treating him to dinners and lunches, always helping him out, my older brother even got him job and this is how he repays us by f*cking stealing from my dad.

We're a close family and his begging me not to tell no one. I know and he knows my family will wash there hands off him if they find out.

What should I do, have any you guys experience this sort of thing.

The thing that pisses me off is that if he didn't tell me tonight, I would be number 1 suspect for stealing the money when my dad got back. I am I right in thinking that my cousin is a scumbag

 

[sevenfourate]

In my opinion the truth needs to be told to your Dad....even if that is: That your cousin borrowed some money and he's now repayed it. Anything that kicks off now will not be as bad as what happens in the future.

Lies and covering up never work and will backfire on someone. Truth is the only way.......

Is there any way you can now get your cousin to somehow hand the key back too - so it doesn't and cant happen again ?

 

[Matty m 197]

Had the same myself with family.... another time for that tho call him and record the phone call so you have evidence about everything then tell you dad once he his home don't ruin his holiday and change the locks don't even bother asking for the key back because he will most likely get one cut

 

[Johnny 99]

He's a scumbag! Just be very careful, you are now in a very awkward position. I've never been in a situation like you but I would be telling him to pay it back before your dad comes home or you will tell your dad what he's done. He can then try to justify what he did to your dad & it'll be up to your dad to decide what to do. I do accept that this could cause problems in the family, but if your dad doesn't trust you as his son over your cousin something is very wrong. However I come from a very small family so have no experience of anything like this, it's my gut feeling & I can't accept any responsibility for my advice!

 

[2004rickyh]

My dads trust me 100% I've been working with him since I left school (15 years) I've always dealt with a lot cash/business accounts etc and never once has something gone missing or wrong, I'm on the verge of taking over the business myself so he can retire early

I'm seeing him tomorrow to get the money and key back, going to change the alarm code as well. I've got text messages saying he stole the money or what he likes to call it 'borrowing' without asking first. My feeling towards this is that I want him to tell my dad when he gets back whilst I'm there so he can't bullsh*t he's way of it with excuses.

It gets worse and little worrying, that a month a go my sister walked into the house and saw him sitting there at 9 o clock at night drinking my dads beers with his mates (strangers to me) whilst my dads away for the night. Truly taking the piss. Had to ring him and tell to get of the house now as my little sister was going mad.

Who knows what else as gone missing. I wouldn't dream of going into my uncles/aunties/cousins etc house without permission, it's not right, especially knowing if there away as well.

I personally don't think it's the first time he's done to my dad, just got gut feeling. I'm not going to tell my dad until he gets back.

Im disappointed and angry that this has happened, my dad is a very generous kinda of guy, and he's own nephew is trying to mug him.

 

[Chris]

If that was me, I think your cousin needs to learn a little life lesson from this. I'd be telling your cousin that the choice is his, he can tell your dad what he has done or you can (you will be telling your dad either way).

Still get the key and money back off him, then hopefully if he tells him (if he's a big enough man) then you can then tell your dad what actually happened then compare stories. This will also be oppurunity to tell him about the beer situation with your sister.

I'd also be warning him that if this happens again, then the police will be getting involved. Perhaps also mentioning it to his parents also (your dad's brother/sister)?

 

[Siliconsteve]

Kick his balls

 

[Pav]

Make him pay it back asap..is your dad back?
Also take the key of him and make sure he hasn't got s spare copy..

 

[Foxspeed]

In my opinion the truth needs to be told to your Dad....even if that is: That your cousin borrowed some money and he's now repayed it. Anything that kicks off now will not be as bad as what happens in the future.

Lies and covering up never work and will backfire on someone. Truth is the only way.......

Is there any way you can now get your cousin to somehow hand the key back too - so it doesn't and cant happen again ?

100% on this....

i could write a book about what my "sister" did to my mum & dad when they were ill and needed her the most....

 

[Foxspeed]

Kick his balls

 

[Jimmy]

I agree with giving your cousin the choice to tell your dad before you do. The money thing is bad enough in isolation, however drinking beer with his mates in the house is taking liberties big time. I'm guessing your cousin is using the family ties as a way of trying to get away with it - I'm sure he wouldn't do it to non-family member.

It's also out of order that he has put you in this position in the first place. It sounds like he needs a really good talking to, make him take a look at how his life is going....

 

[Adam_C]

In my opinion I would tell your dad as if he ever found iout it may affect your relationship with your dad

Another reason is why should you worry about his mistakes

 

[2004rickyh]

Well it's gets f*cking worse, I found out today he went into my Nans house whilst she was sleeping and took money out of her purse. Stealing from my dad is one thing, stealing from my dads mum, my nan who's in her late 70s is on a another level. He confessed to my nan that he went round there about 11 on clock at night, pinched her spare key ages ago and let himself in whilst she was sleeping.

 

[Big Ben]

Tell your old man everything even he gets back. Protect what's yours.

 

[Chris]

Needs sorting out asap, going to get out of hand.

 

[Jimmy]

Makes you wonder who else he has stolen from... And why he feels the need to do things like this? Something he needs to fund....?

 

[sevenfourate]

Unfortunately your first post was always likely to be the tip of the iceburg.as far as he was concerned.......

Horrible state of affairs though. Hope you get it "sorted".

 

[Adam_C]

Tell your dad everything he needs to know!! Once a thief always a thief he ain't gonna change

 

[Mattb_197]

1001% tell your dad. There is NO excuse for stealing, which is what it is. Sadly I've fallen out with a few so called 'friends' who I've lent money to and they've messed about paying me back but that's different. Family or not as said above once a thief always a thief. Who's to say he won't do it again in the future? What he did to your nan was disgusting, does he owe people money or have a drug problem maybe? - No excuses for it but there must be a reason unless he's just a scummy unit.