Today, I arrived in the windswept hell hole of Hindhead, and saw I had an Apple computer to a young couple I know well-ish. Nice detached house in a cul-de-sac, that is really a mission and out of the way.
Me being discretion personified, I drive up to the house quietly, hop out the van, go and knock on the door - no answer. Bedroom window is open, and all steamed up. I was writing out an Infonotice to put through the door, when I heard the unmistakeble graons of both him and her coming out the window. It wasn't quiet either, infact the people in the next street could have heard it.
I thought to myself "shall I or shan't I?" I really couldn't be arsed to go back their the next day, and there was no way they were going to hear me knocking on the door, over the noise of them knocking.
In the van, engine on, maneouvre, horn, engine off, out the side door and shout (going back to my days at the UPS training centre watching the drivers in USA doing it) "UPS EXPRESS DELIVERY".
I then went and demolished the door knocker, at which point the groaning stopped, followed by "there's some c**t at the door".
He looks out the window, then leans out and before he has the chance to say anything, I say to him "that c**t is delivering your new computer!" He says "I have only just woken up, we were asleep until you beeped your horn".
I said tongue in cheek. "My goodness, your mrs snores loudly, was she asleep too?, I can't deliver this anywhere else, so shall I send it back?" He shouts "No i'll be down in a minute". After 2 minutes of frantic rummuging noise, he comes down in his dressing gown, and I hear this voice upstairs going "oh NO, ITS ALL OVER MY BEST DRESS", "nice" I replied.
He was glowing bright red at this point. I said to him "mate, sounds like you were having fun, won't hold you up, think of the movies you two could make with this lot (pointing at the box)" Winked, and waved goodbye. He stood there shaking his head, then waved.
All in a days work eh. Saw Alan Titchmarshes bins had blown over too, wondered how long it would be before some pikey was in there LOL
Mike
EDIT - I WOULD NOT HAVE SAID NO TO HER EITHER, NEARLY AS GOOD AS HOLLY VALENCE!!!
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